Jibberish??

I am so grateful today to have wonderful friends to talk with. It has been good over this last week and the trials it has put on so many of the people I care about to get out and talk through our feelings and about what is going on in each others lives. It is so nice to have people to share the good and the bad with. People who love you and understand and are right there with you. I can't really say I have understood everything that has come about or why it has had to but I do know with all my heart that Our Savior and Heavenly Father do love us unconditionally and that they are right there with you to touch your heart and heal it and to hold your hand and guide you through all those tough moments that life does present. I am grateful to have had those moments in the week where I know my testimony has been strengthened and where I have also had the opportunity to come to terms with my friends death. This year was especially hard as I just turned 25 and he died at 25. I also have a weird perception on time now because Aiden was born just weeks before my friend died so 7 years seems so fast when I think about Aiden, but then I think about Brian and 7 years seems so long. I know he is in a good place and that we will meet again.

All of that being said my friends did lose their son on Monday and he happens to be 25 and his younger brother just turned 17 which is how old I was when I lost my friend. It definately made me confront a lot of what I had not yet done after he died. I think I had not allowed myself more because I didn't know how to. I had just become a mom and I was in a whole new situation trying to figure out how our lives needed to go, and because Aiden was sick my focus was not on grieving. I am heartbroken for my friends and there loss. I wish they didn't have to hurt so much and that there was something I could do, but I cannot. I am glad to say I have walked away from this week healed from one hurt and that even in the midst of a new pain I know that we have a forever and that "it's all good." I am praying that my dear friends can heal now and I will continue to pray that they have the love of our Savior to help them through such a rough time. Honestly rough doesn't seem to cut it in my mind but it is the best I can do as I don't think words describe what they are going through.